'Barley ate my hamster'

I really don't mind if I never set eyes on barley again. I knew it took quite a while to cook, so I thought I'd make plenty of it but my hand slipped too, so I ended up cooking TONS of it. I had to keep adding water as it grew and grew and drank more and more. Then I had to pour it, mid-cooking to a bigger pot. I separated off a big bowl of it and added tinned tomato to the remaining mass. Then I needed to add a second tin and some onion and chilli powder to make a soup which was still too thick so I watered that down. Reader, I ate it for three days. Each time I came to re-heat it, the grains had swollen further, needing more liquid to soupify it so that it seemed to never get any less!
Meanwhile, the separated bowlful went out to the ducks who seemed to love it. Little do they know that it's like gremlins - once you add water, it mutliplies.